Page 4 - july2019

MERLE'S MIND
FISHY FLATULENCE
The news on the Internet is a source of constant amusement for me. We all know that everything posted on the Internet has to be true and, once again, the truth is always stranger than anything that I could make up.
Here are a few recent strange, but true fish stories from the web:
• A man in England recently barely survived an attempt to kiss a Dover Sole that he'd just caught. Apparently the fish jumped from his hand into his mouth, where it lodged in his windpipe resulting in a cardiac arrest. He was successfully revived by paramedics, however there were no reports
on the condition of the errant Sole. Hopefully the Sole was not lost. The BBC indicated that fish kissing is apparently an English tradition, which explains a lot about why the English lost the Revolutionary War.
• Residents of the small Australian town of Lajamanu recently reported hundreds of Spangled Perch falling from the sky. People were appar- ently running around and scooping up the fish, which were still alive. Mark Kersemakers from the Australian Bureau of Meteorology indi- cated that the fish were likely sucked out of a lake by a tornado and eventually dropped on Lajamanu, however I prefer to think that it was a rather ill conceived attempt, by the fish, to go parachute jumping. All of the fish slime almost certainly caused their tiny parachutes to slip off when they opened and ultimately led to the free fall disaster.
• Many male Smallmouth Bass and white suckerfish captured in the Del-
aware, Ohio and Susquehanna rivers in Pennsylvania have crossed
over into a category called intersex, meaning an organism with two
genders. Scientists have found eggs in the male fish’s testes. The sci-
entific community seems to think that pollution and various chemicals have thrown off the systems that regulate hormones and the reproductive system in these fish. I suppose that this may be a logi- cal explanation, however, isn’t it possible that the fish simply identify more as female?
• A large Sailfish caught in the Philippines had much of its body covered in tattoos. Adornments to the side of the fish include a crown and shield, some strange lettering and various entwined plant leaves. No one can explain how the fish came to be tattooed or why. Rumors that the text said “Live to Swim/Swim to Live” appear to be untrue, however it does appears to translate roughly to say “Born to be Wet”.
• A kayak-fishing guide caught a 10-pound Largemouth Bass on a live Rattlesnake. Shane Davies of River Run Guide Service was understandably bothered by a small rattlesnake that swam out and was trying to get into the kayak with him. After whacking the snake with his paddle, he brought
the stunned (not yet dead) snake aboard and decided to see how it worked on his jig. It only took 6 casts for the huge bass to eat the snake, and the fight was on. I’ve never caught a Largemouth Bass that large, and if that is what it takes to catch one, I’m out.
Flip the bird and I had a recent and unexpected encounter in West Marine, where a fan accosted us. Apparently someone actually reads these columns and we have a follower who was pleased to have his picture made with both of us. I guess next we will have to start watching out for the paparazzi.
If other fans are out there, please feel free to stop by Belle Harbour Marina to share funny fish stories.
Merle
4 ONSHORE-OFFSHORE
Magazine